Actually, I give way too many fucks and that's why I am the way I am. If that doesn't make sense.... let me explain more.
Staying grounded when chaos is all around me is a skill set 2019 has been forcing upon me with vengeance.. But umm... I guess I'm grateful because it's taught me a lot about mindfulness, and not allowing just my emotions to rule my life, and also how to breathe when my anxiety starts to drown me. OH! And most importantly, how to choose the things to really care about and to let go of the things that don't serve me. I know.... I feel like this is trending... but it's been really beneficial for my mental health, so guess there is nothing wrong with "trending" shit if it helps lol.
For example: I'm the kinda person who will socialize, and then pick apart every little thing I said, which then causes me to stress, and then get anxious, and feel as though I certainly must have made a massive ass of myself, lol.... which probably usually isn't the case and all this worry does for me is cause myself to spiral into self doubt and other toxic things. So yeah, giving less fucks...just doing my best, and staying grounded, it's been v healing... along with other things that I won't go into here. That's probably a whole other blog post.
Okay, okay, back on track.... last year was a year of terrible physical health for me (which I have been working on and can happily say I'm certainly feeling physically better)... but in exchange, my mental health hasn't been the best, and this is kinda new for me. Sure, I've always had anxiety and times where I felt depressed, but this has been a whole NEW level. Like, unbearable n shit. Anyway, I don't want to go on and on and rehash the same thing over and over again, but I've been really, really, working on my mental health *along with physical* and creating work that's kinda illustrative of this phase/chapter of my life.
Can I just title this "Chill As a Cucumber Even When Sea Monsters Steal Your Shit While Lounging At The Pool"? Okay, permission granted ;)
Btw, I'm starting this new thing where I share a blog and talk about my latest work. Instagram is clearly not the most stable place these days for creators *well, at least for me anyway* and I want to focus more of my time here :) Every time I say I'll blog I end up not doing it, but I feel like this time is different! Stay tuned! <3